Dedicated to all those amazing people in my life who had the choice to walk out, yet opted to hold on to me
I appreciate your conviction at creating hurdles on my path. Your relentless spirit at what you do is something worth copying (Oops), I mean, it’s highly inspiring. However I understand that despite your consistency, you could never taste success in your endeavours . You always did and are continuing to do exceptionally well at troubling me. All I am trying to say is that I am not the one to be blamed for your failures. In fact I have never disappointed you in stumbling at each of your roadblocks. But the moment I trip over, there are these bunch of people whose hands hold on to me. Of course you are more powerful but they aren’t weak either. In that tug of war between you and them, they eventually win and that’s how I get up, stand on my feet, walk, run and there we come across each other again. Then as the saying goes, History repeats itself !!! Well, the world addresses them as my friends, but all I know is that they are what I am made of. They are the reason why I trust that after all life is worth living. I really wish I could say that one day your efforts to knock me down will definitely be paid off. But my upbringing does not allow me to give you false hopes. For as long as they are there, I am sorry to say, they have my back. Anyways Good luck at whatever you are up to….
The Path to this point was never a cake walk
I Fell and fell again as I continued to tread
That which got me together at all those times
was the ray in my heart
which somehow seem to not be there tonight
There was a tremor as I murmured
Does this mean that this is the end
for all I can see are the shut doors ahead
Leaving behind darkness coupled with deafening silence
And then came an honest voice
which perhaps I had not heard in quite a long time
And all it said was
Don’t worry my child
for if you find every door to be shut before you
All it means is that you have gone blind !!!
Why me?? Why am I always put in the spot? Am I carrying a bundle of misfortune? Am I under a spell or something? So on and so forth. These are some of those questions which do not seem to leave my side over the last few years of my life. Life has been extremely “eventful” with every passing day unfolding shocks one after another. And the best part is that you don’t really get time to recover from the effect of one because the next uninvited shock is already in. When the first one strikes you hard, you obviously feel extremely hurt and you feel that your world has come crashing right onto your head and there you lie buried under those shattered pieces gasping for air. And as this continue to be a series, landing on you one after another, you feel that you are going deeper and deeper into the pit and at one point you almost conclude that things can’t get any worse and there comes another bouncer sweeping you off your feet. After all this, you get the feel of being on a local anesthesia; wide awake but numb. Sounds pretty negative but that’s perhaps how one is emotionally tuned. And whatever is that nerve, causing the wave of comparison in your brain, starts ranking the setbacks in terms of its disastrous outcomes. These setbacks leave behind them a lot of emotions in terms of anger, frustration, tears, helplessness etc. And all these emotions are pretty evident and so their role is beyond any doubt. Apart from all these, there’s another little inert element that these setbacks leave behind which often goes unnoticed; an ounce of Strength. The essence of strength is inherent in each one of us. Just that it gets activated only while we tide over hard times. If not for those times of trouble, I would not believe in my ability to handle failures. It’s this strength that has made me realise that my inner self could bear another setback only because I had managed to survive the previous one. And with each passing trouble, I activate a little more of my inner strength. So the bottom line is just that, although I haven’t found an answer to why am I in the center of all troubles, I am assured that as long as it does not hold the power to kill me, I only become stronger. And that’s all that really counts.