When 24 hours seem less

A long list of things too good to be true

And all I had is a day to do

The night has come on its silver wings

But my wish list lies in tits and bits

Sometimes I wish I could push the bar

Stretch it beyond the 24 hour

But at the end of every day, there has to be a night

A night to cherish as I wake up to the next day light.

AN EXCERPT FROM MY LIFE

When she realised that I am within her

She was young and naive

Little did she know that in the days to come

She is gonna end up pledging her whole life

Slowly steadily and very carefully she climbed the ladder of motherhood

And there she welcomed her little one into her petite world too soon

And then days and nights flew in and out

As she continued to sketch the story of my life

The day she knew I was prepared to take over,

With a smile she handed me the canvas of my life

Given a free hand to complete the picture

I drew, I re drew, I tore and pasted it

I knew I was trying to craft my dreams without knowing what they were

Live remained the canvas, yet with no picture on my mind

And all she did was stand by silently; never offered a hand

In a casual chit chat, I asked about her dreams

She smiled, she budged and sometimes very clearly dodged

But soon did she realise that I take after her in finding my answers

Giving in, she looked at me which made me realise what I knew all the while

All her life was spent on me and her dreams lie in the canvas she handed me

Well living for your child is nothing but a typical motherly trait

But trusting someone to handle your cherished dream takes a lot of courage

Mom, A hundred times, I must have put across the question “Why don’t you trust me?”

Today I realise that perhaps I never knew what trust was meant to be

The picture is still incomplete, but today it’s more than just a canvas

For now they are your dreams that I hold within me as safely as you held me in your womb.

I promise, the day it completes, you will be proud…………

 

 

All it means is that….

The Path to this point was never a cake walk

I Fell and fell again as I continued to tread

That which got me together at all those times

was the ray in my heart

which somehow seem to not be there tonight

There was a tremor as I murmured

Does this mean that this is the end

for all I can see are the shut doors ahead

Leaving behind darkness coupled with deafening silence

And then came an honest voice

which perhaps I had not heard in quite a long time

And all it said was

Don’t worry my child

for if you find every door to be shut before you

All it means is that you have gone blind !!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cos I love myself just the way I am

 

They say that I am an open book, yet they end up reading it all wrong

They say that I have mood swings, little do they know, that it’s my way of being alive

They say that I am a cry baby, I wish they realise that’s secret of my true eyes

They say that I am attached; well clearly that’s how they know I care

They say that I am predictable, yet I manage to surprise them all

The world is fond of going on and on

All that matters to me is that I love myself just the way I am……….

There is no forever….

It was late in the night and I was startled at the knock on my door. One reason why I jumped off my seat is quite natural while the other one is something that I had habituated into in the recent times. The natural reason is that i was not expecting anyone at that hour and the not so natural part is that off late whenever someone turns up, it does not bring in any good news… Wait.. Leave alone about bringing in cheer, In fact it has a track record of turning down my entire world; that world which I had crafted out of my dreams, built and rebuilt with bricks of hope as and when they tumbled down. With eyes popping out and a whole range of ‘amazing’ thoughts flashing in my mind I had to make the only ‘choice’ available; to go and open the door…. As I leaned forward trying to reach out for the door, I could feel my hands were trembling while my forehead was covered in sweat… Hold on.. “How about taking the back door!!! Its much easier” cried heart… But my brain immediately shut out the thought , ” You know they will come after you.. why take extra trouble!!!” Well that’s true and I always knew it. So holding my breath, I opened the door.  A stroke of air just passed by but I could feel it only like a shiver down my spine. I raised by brow as I found none at the door, but for a note… I opened and it read

Dear You

Wanted to tell it personally but I knew you were going to take long before you muster courage to get to the door… So I decided to leave this note…. Relax.. Its just to tell you that I am leaving your side for a while… Got other matters to deal with.. But before I go, just wanted to leave a piece of advice. Don’t take too long to respond to knocks. Simply for two reasons

a) No matter what, If it’s for you, it will wait and get you in… No way out… &

b) Nothing is forever, Neither me nor you. As it comes , it shall pass too…

Love always

Adversity (alias) Bad luck

 

That which does not kill you, can only make you stronger

Why me?? Why am I always put in the spot? Am I carrying a bundle of misfortune? Am I under a spell or something? So on and so forth. These are some of those questions which do not seem to leave my side over the last few years of my life. Life has been extremely “eventful” with every passing day unfolding shocks one after another. And the best part is that you don’t really get time to recover from the effect of one because the next uninvited shock is already in. When the first one strikes you hard, you obviously feel extremely hurt and you feel that your world has come crashing right onto your head and there you lie buried under those shattered pieces gasping for air. And as this continue to be a series, landing on you one after another, you feel that you are going deeper and deeper into the pit and at one point you almost conclude that things can’t get any worse and there comes another bouncer sweeping you off your feet.  After all this, you get the feel of being on a local anesthesia; wide awake but numb.  Sounds pretty negative but that’s perhaps how one is emotionally tuned. And whatever is that nerve, causing the wave of comparison in your brain, starts ranking the setbacks in terms of its disastrous outcomes. These setbacks leave behind them a lot of emotions in terms of anger, frustration, tears, helplessness etc. And all these emotions are pretty evident and so their role is beyond any doubt. Apart from all these, there’s another little inert element that these setbacks leave behind which often goes unnoticed; an ounce of Strength. The essence of strength is inherent in each one of us. Just that it gets activated only while we tide over hard times. If not for those times of trouble, I would not believe in my ability to handle failures. It’s this strength that has made me realise that my inner self could bear another setback only because I had managed to survive the previous one. And with each passing trouble, I activate a little more of my inner strength. So the bottom line is just that, although I haven’t found an answer to why am I in the center of all troubles, I am assured that as long as it does not hold the power to kill me, I only become stronger. And that’s all that really counts.