“The first step to getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are”… Thanks to a dear friend you shared this wonderful quote, for these words are my inspiration to take to writing after a very long time. I have been in my little space for quite some time and these words did the perfect job of getting me back to track. So after giving myself a pat on my back , I sat down to pen my thoughts and here it goes.

As a small girl, back in my childhood, I always wanted to try out new things. Run from corner to corner and talk all that comes to my mind without bothering as to if they make sense to the listener, (or sometimes without bothering if there is someone to listen to). Make sketches which in my view back then were just too brilliant and so go around showing it to everyone. While doing all of them there was always a sense of joy that is beyond any explanation. I was just too happy although in the course of many experiments that I did as a child, I had my share of bruised knees and other considerable amount of bloodshed. But all that did not become a factor enough to stop me from doing what I wanted to do.

Then so much in line with the law of nature and for absolutely no fault of mine, I grew up. I am sure all of us must have heard at least one relative exclaim about how soon we have grown up and how much they miss our childhood tantrums and how all these seem to have just happened yesterday. Strange but as I look back at it, I realise that I have definitely grown over a period of time, but what grew faster than me is a particular feeling of which I am sure I had no clue about when I had my first encounter with it. I always thought that registering long, tough and confusing words can be quite a task, but this word just got into my system even before I knew what it meant. Mr. Oxford defines it as a feeling of self consciousness, shame or awkwardness but I would rather personify it to be a cold blooded murderer of the curious child in any person – Mr. EMBARRASSMENT

Life offers a lot of challenging avenues but most of the times we find ourselves grip on to our comfort zones because we are frightened at the thought of embarrassing ourselves in front of the world. What if I make a fool of myself is the first thought that comes to our minds even before we process the thought of trying out something new and different. It can be something as small as a change in hairstyle, to dancing to our favourite beats, to expressing our opinion on any topic etc. It just can be anything but all that’s common is the awkwardness that engulfs our spirits. Though I cannot be authentic while stating this but I truly believe that this very feeling must have made the same world lose out on some of its finest talents as all of them faded behind the smokescreen of the not so good feeling –The fear of being embarrassed.

I have had a lot of moments where I thought that this is it, I am going to be a laughing stock in front of the world and that I will have to run to the back stage and find solace in the hands of the comfortable world that’s just too cosy. But sometimes compulsion takes an upper hand and pushed me to face my worst fears. Thanks to those compulsive factors, today I have realised that the fear of being embarrassed is just in the first 60 seconds of any new task and if you survive the moment, then the same is cured and unlike most other diseases, they don’t make a comeback into our lives, at least not while facing the same task again. On the contrary if we decide to live with it, it’s going to be our companion until we are laid to rest and may be even beyond.

Even today as I head towards new beginnings, I own my share of worry and fear. But the longer I grip on to them, the more will I lose out on my joy of discovering my own self. Having understood this fact, I believe that we should all give ourselves a fair chance to explore ourselves without the fear of being laughed at. If we succeed then it’s an accomplishment for a lifetime and if we don’t, we could do some good to others by letting them have a hearty laugh amidst their busy schedule. And after all, considering the pace at which the world is moving forward where no headline can remain a headline beyond a day, mine and your share of embarrassments can never find a shelter for long except in our own heads. Therefore it’s right up to us to keep ourselves open to challenges and live a happening life. And all we need to do is to take the first step forward and decide to not hold on to where we are forever. Difficult may be but not impossible, what do you think???

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