Its okay to be not all that Okay

(a + b)^2 = a^2 + 2ab + b^2.  I don’t think I have had any greater problems in my life at one point in time that dealing with this and many of its other relatives ( Definitely there are greater issues today, But Maths will always continue to be an iconic character in my book of disasters). It was so dreadful that had mathematics been a phase, I would never wish for it to happen to even the worst of my enemies. That was the equation we shared. But looking back at it today, I wonder why did I let it affect my head so much. Every maths exam was accompanied by a series of events starting with a hope that things would be better this time,  followed by a realization that its no better from the earlier instances, resulting in an imaginary  headache leading to shedding of tears and finally ending in a state of profuse sweating in the exam hall and thereafter realizing that though not a 100 , I had not failed either. Well this was just on the repeat mode until I got rid of maths as a subject. Of course today it does n’t bother me any more. But may be in an attempt to reflect over the past, If I were to personify maths as someone I were in a relationship with, I guess I would say I invested a lot more into something that never really made me any better or happier. All along the years of association, I struggled to get better at something that clearly was not my forte whilst the easier/ better choice could have been to just let it be. Because no matter what I did, Neither did I have the power to remove it from being a part of my life( Unless I had decided to be a school drop out) nor could I have convinced myself to like it any better ( You know, its just that we were never meant to be). Now I feel that had I just mustered the courage to look myself in the eye and tell it loud and clear that its okay to be not okay with certain things, life would have been a lot more easier. We cannot all always be good at everything we do. Everyone has their inherent share of strengths and weaknesses. Well as much as I agree that its good to know one’s weaknesses, I really don’t believe that one needs to tackle each one of it and become someone too perfect to be true.

I have always been fascinated by the thought which says ” To err is human but to forgive is divine”. But as the horizons of my thoughts keep widening, I believe divinity lies within every human. All it takes, is for us to come to terms with the fact that we might err because we are humans but also invoke the divinity in us to forgive ourselves for at least some of the imperfections that we cannot do away with and just move on. Somehow I feel, It will just be a lot more easier to live happily with certain not okay’s than battle around with a hope to be all okay!!!

Dear Ms.Corona

Before you ignore this “little” piece of writing as any other random message asking you to go away, spare me a minute. I swear to not swear at you; and trust me when I say, I won’t take more than a minute 🙂

Disclaimer:Well I am sorry if there is a gender confusion in the title, but before you judge me , I would like to clarify that it has been global practice to personify exceptional one’s like you as feminine and I just chose to be one with the crowd.

Ever since you have been out there, I have been at home. And honestly , except for the boredom caused, I am not at a great loss. In fact you have saved me a lot of money, by putting a mandatory break to my Saturday shopping, Sunday Movies and my weekday Swiggy’s. In fact, there’s very less laundry that I have to do a week and you have no idea how big a relief that is. And the traffic, How can I forget that. Just hate the thought of having to travel amidst the blaring horns and now, I barely hear the “Tring- Tring” of a cycle. So, going by all this and much more, you seem to be good and I should be happy with you being around right?!!!. But I am confused here… Then why am I not happy???!!!

Okay, let’s forget about me. Let’s talk about the greater roles played by you. There existed a practice of Untouchability as part of our history. And today there again exists a practice of “Untouchability” across the globe. The only difference is , back then it was to build a wall of discrimination and today, it is because you managed to break all walls leaving behind any form of discrimination. You don’t see caste and creed, you don’t differentiate between rich and the poor. Color of the skin does not matter to you. You treat all genders equally. Well, with all this, you should sound like an iconic character. But I don’t feel inspired , why???

Yesterday when I looked out of my window, I saw a lot of birds chirping around, Dogs and cats were peacefully asleep; Cows grazing happily and believe me these are all a pleasure to the eyes. Rivers are clean, Air is pure (even without the odd and even games); Truly Nature is rejoicing like never before. But for you, these could have never been possible; But why am I not able to thank you with all my heart???!!!

Well, I do not have answer to these and a hundred other questions running in my mind. And even if I have, I would prefer to not answer cause I could sound a bit biased to my own race. After all its human nature right!!! So I choose to leave you with all these tits and bits of my mind. May be as I finish, Just one last note… I belong to a nation where not every individual is equipped with an option of Earn from Home. Cos a house help needs to go to another house to find a living. and so does a carpenter , a security, the health care professionals and even the army men of my country. And so is the case with the billions across the globe. Like I said, A few millions including me can afford to stay in , but there are countless others who are struggling out there.

If you have read till the end, I am sorry to have taken a bit more than a minute. May be a quick suggestion… Now that we both have taken a bit long, Can we both end it here? No, No.. Don’t feel offended. I don’t mean to blame you in anyway. I don’t even know if you have the power to control yourself. But if you do, then please do. Cause to be honest, we truly don’t.

Longing for some normalcy



Dedicated to all those amazing people in my life who had the choice to walk out, yet opted to hold on to me

Dear “Problems”

I appreciate your conviction at creating hurdles on my path. Your relentless spirit at what you do is something worth copying (Oops), I mean, it’s  highly inspiring. However I understand that despite your consistency, you could never taste success in your endeavours . You always did and are continuing to do exceptionally well at troubling me. All I am trying to say is that I am not the one to be blamed for your failures. In fact I have never disappointed you in stumbling at each of your roadblocks. But the moment I trip over, there are these bunch of people whose hands hold on to me. Of course you are more powerful but they aren’t weak either. In that tug of war between you and them, they eventually win and that’s how I get up, stand on my feet, walk, run and there we come across each other again. Then as the saying goes, History repeats itself !!! Well, the world addresses them as my friends, but all I know is that they are what I am made of. They are the reason why I trust that after all life is worth living. I really wish I could say that one day your efforts to knock me down will definitely be paid off. But my upbringing does not allow me to give you false hopes. For as long as they are there, I am sorry to say, they have my back. Anyways Good luck at whatever you are up to…. 

With Love……

When 24 hours seem less

A long list of things too good to be true

And all I had is a day to do

The night has come on its silver wings

But my wish list lies in tits and bits

Sometimes I wish I could push the bar

Stretch it beyond the 24 hour

But at the end of every day, there has to be a night

A night to cherish as I wake up to the next day light.


When she realised that I am within her

She was young and naive

Little did she know that in the days to come

She is gonna end up pledging her whole life

Slowly steadily and very carefully she climbed the ladder of motherhood

And there she welcomed her little one into her petite world too soon

And then days and nights flew in and out

As she continued to sketch the story of my life

The day she knew I was prepared to take over,

With a smile she handed me the canvas of my life

Given a free hand to complete the picture

I drew, I re drew, I tore and pasted it

I knew I was trying to craft my dreams without knowing what they were

Live remained the canvas, yet with no picture on my mind

And all she did was stand by silently; never offered a hand

In a casual chit chat, I asked about her dreams

She smiled, she budged and sometimes very clearly dodged

But soon did she realise that I take after her in finding my answers

Giving in, she looked at me which made me realise what I knew all the while

All her life was spent on me and her dreams lie in the canvas she handed me

Well living for your child is nothing but a typical motherly trait

But trusting someone to handle your cherished dream takes a lot of courage

Mom, A hundred times, I must have put across the question “Why don’t you trust me?”

Today I realise that perhaps I never knew what trust was meant to be

The picture is still incomplete, but today it’s more than just a canvas

For now they are your dreams that I hold within me as safely as you held me in your womb.

I promise, the day it completes, you will be proud…………



All it means is that….

The Path to this point was never a cake walk

I Fell and fell again as I continued to tread

That which got me together at all those times

was the ray in my heart

which somehow seem to not be there tonight

There was a tremor as I murmured

Does this mean that this is the end

for all I can see are the shut doors ahead

Leaving behind darkness coupled with deafening silence

And then came an honest voice

which perhaps I had not heard in quite a long time

And all it said was

Don’t worry my child

for if you find every door to be shut before you

All it means is that you have gone blind !!!